Walking with Grace: An Introduction to my work as a Hospice Nurse

In a world that often shies away from the realities of death, my work as a hospice nurse and soul midwife invites me to walk a different path—one that embraces the profound, sacred transitions at the end of life. I am both a caregiver and a guide, navigating the delicate terrain where body, mind, and spirit converge. This is my vocation, my calling, and, in many ways, my deepest privilege.

As a palliative care nurse, I am often the person who meets individuals and families when the weight of a terminal diagnosis has shifted the focus from cure to comfort. My role involves managing symptoms, easing pain, and ensuring dignity. Yet, beyond the clinical care, there is the human care: holding a trembling hand, sharing a moment of silence, or simply being present in the face of the unknown. Each patient is unique, and every family carries its own story of love, loss, and resilience. But my journey doesn't stop there. As a soul midwife—a companion for the dying—I step into an even deeper layer of this work. Where hospice nursing focuses on the physical and emotional aspects of dying, soul midwifery engages with the spiritual, existential and sacred experience of death. This role has ancient roots, drawing on traditions that view death not as a medical event but as a profound rite of passage.

Soul midwifery is about creating a space for connection and meaning in the dying process. It involves listening deeply—not just to words but to what lies beneath them. Often, those nearing the end of life carry unspoken fears, unresolved conflicts, or questions about what comes next. My work is not to provide answers but to hold a compassionate space where those questions can unfold. Sometimes, it is as simple as bearing witness to someone's story, allowing them to feel seen and heard. Other times, it involves rituals: lighting candles, offering blessings and prayers.

One of the most profound aspects of being a soul midwife is the emphasis on life’s inherent sacredness. In the clinical world, it is easy to get caught up in charts, medications, and protocols. But in soul midwifery, we step back and honor the mystery of life and death. There is a quiet reverence in sitting with someone as they take their final breaths, knowing that you are witnessing the closing chapter of a singular, irreplaceable life. In these moments, I often feel an overwhelming sense of grace—a reminder that while death is undeniably difficult, it is also deeply natural and, in its own way, beautiful.

This work also nurtures my own spiritual growth and offers me a unique perspective on life. Being so intimately connected to death has a way of clarifying what truly matters. It reminds me to live with intention, to cherish the fleeting beauty of each day, and to approach life’s challenges with humility and gratitude. Every person I accompany teaches me something new about resilience, love, and the enduring strength of the human spirit.

Of course, this work is not without its challenges. Bearing witness to suffering, grief, and loss can be heavy, and there are days when the weight feels almost unbearable. Yet, it is precisely because of this weight that the work feels so meaningful. To be trusted with someone’s final moments is a profound honor, one that keeps me grounded in the importance of presence, empathy, and love.

I often find that my contemplative Christian faith provides a foundation for this work. The teachings of compassion, humility, and service resonate deeply in the context of death and dying. While I never impose my beliefs on others, I do draw on them as a source of strength and guidance. Whether through silent prayer, a whispered blessing, or simply the intention of love, my faith reminds me that I am not walking this path alone.

What is it like to be a soul midwife? It is, in many ways, like holding a lantern in the dark. It means walking with people through uncharted territory, offering light but never pretending to have all the answers. It means standing at the threshold with them, offering reassurance that they are not alone. And it means honoring each person’s unique journey, recognizing that no two deaths are the same.

I often reflect on how much I have learned from the dying. They have taught me about courage, forgiveness, and the power of love. They have reminded me to savor the small, ordinary moments—the laughter of my loved ones, the warmth of the sunrise, the comfort of a familiar song. And they have shown me that even in the face of great loss, there is room for grace.

My hope is that by sharing my work, I can help others see death not as something to be feared but as a natural part of the human experience. There is a kind of beauty in surrendering to the ebb and flow of life, in trusting that there is meaning even in the endings. If I can ease someone’s journey, if I can offer comfort in the face of uncertainty, then I have fulfilled my purpose.

In the end, being a soul midwife is about love—a love that holds space for pain and joy, sorrow and peace, endings and beginnings. It is a love that reminds us of our shared humanity, of the fragile and miraculous gift of life. And it is a love that endures, even in the face of death.

-Stephanie